I was utterly and completely heartbroken.
It felt like my life died- I had been absolutely swept off my feet. I was young, and desperately wanted an instruction manual for grown up life. K was a few years older, and seemed very wise at the time. Additionally, that rosy new relationship glow- you know, that feeling where you can’t imagine that person will ever do anything wrong, and is so perfect, and so wonderful, and everything is amazing, and BLAH BLAH BLAH- was never extinguished because we never experienced “real life” stuff. We saw each other every couple of weeks, and he paid for everything. It was like Disney World for relationships. No one ever had to take the trash out, or compromise on what to watch on TV, or forgot to pick up the dry cleaning.
Once I got over my despair, I got Angry. Very Angry. Psycho Angry.
I may or may not have threatened to show up at his house so he could explain his virtual disappearance from the face of the Earth in person. (I had a plane ticket already booked for New Years, and I had his AMEX, so I could have totally made it happen.) It was not my proudest moment. At the time, I thought of myself as a Thelma and Louise gal, demanding answers for all girls who had been screwed over.
K did a great job of sucking me back in over the next year. And I wanted so so badly to be sucked back in, so it’s not like it took a lot. Sadly, it was obvious to everyone except for me that he did not want to get back together. He did however, want to mess with my mind. He would tell me he missed me. I would rush down to see him. Once there, he would decide that he did not in fact miss me that much and that we would not work as a couple.
K is my Dating Anti Christ. (A local radio show in Atlanta coined the term, and it fits perfectly here!) When I read He’s Just Not That Into You, it felt like Greg Behrendt had been spying on me for the past year. (If my suffering provided even one girl relief, it was still so so awful.) In retrospect, I did learn a lot from the experience. I learned that it’s OK to be That Girl Without A Boyfriend sometimes. I also learned what a true Knight in Shining Armor looks like….