Wedding Dress Shopping, Or When I Lost My Mind

Every bride gets a little nutso before their big day. I was no exception. The driving force behind all the nuttiness is the dress.  All women do drastic things in the name of Looking Perfect In Their Dress, no matter how forcefully they proclaim that they were different because they were Sane and Rational on their wedding day.  They are lying.  

bride straight jacket Wedding Dress Shopping, Or When I Lost My Mind

Wedding dress shopping is the opposite of bikini shopping in that it is fun and makes you feel beautiful. Also, wedding dress shops understand the importance of good lighting.  As Cher taught us all in Clueless, mood lighting can make or break you.

cher Wedding Dress Shopping, Or When I Lost My Mind

You have taught me so many lessons, Cher.

When I ordered my dress, I was in between sizes.  In a rare flash of maturity, I opted for the bigger size, thinking it would be much easier to take a dress in rather than let one out.  Fast forward a few months, and I get the phone call- the dress has arrived! I rushed to the store; ripping my clothes off before I even got to the dressing room. I knew everything would be perfect; I had been watching my diet and I had been training with a fancy pants personal trainer. 

I stepped into my dress, had someone zip it up (no one can get into their wedding dress alone. It is simply not possible. On a related note, it was also not possible for me to use the bathroom alone, as is the case for most brides.) And then… the world stopped.  My. Dress. Was. TIGHT.  Too tight in fact. When I ordered it, a few months before, it was loose. The opposite of tight. I was eight weeks till W DAY, and I didn’t have a dress. As this truth sunk in, I began hyperventilating. I don’t remember much after that, but I am positive that crying, pleading, mashing of the teeth, and wild promises to God were all involved. 

too small wedding dress Wedding Dress Shopping, Or When I Lost My Mind

This might or might not be me…

The worst, and possibly most insulting part of it all, was that I was paying a lot of money (something that I did not have a lot of at the time. Still don’t, come to think about it.) to a fancy pants personal trainer to lose weight and tone up before the wedding.  AND TO LOOK PERFECT IN MY DRESS.  Yes, you did read that correctly.  I was being supervised by a ritzy personal trainer and the results they promised were most definitely not the results I was seeing.  I am still bitter six years later. In fact, I still actively plan revenge on these people that involves multiple billboard messages about their terrible services. What can I say, I  do have a flair for the dramatic..


  1. oh my gosh so scary! i had a similar dress panic the day before my wedding. it was the WORST! oh man. thanks for linking up with yolomondays, julia. hope to see you again tomorrow!
    molly @ still being molly recently posted..He Can Use YouMy Profile

  2. So your picture of you in your wedding dress led me back to a few of your wedding posts, and oh man–it would have been so sad to find out that your dress was too tight! When I was wedding dress shopping, the store that I went to only had 1 large sample size, and my dress had to be taken in three times to fit. It is a fairly loose style, and to this day I don’t really fill it out “on top” if you know what I mean….but I was getting a little nervous when the last alteration was only finished shortly before the wedding day!
    Rachel G recently posted..What We EatMy Profile


  1. [...] I was in the dressing room at the bridal store, and my loosely fitting (when I ordered it) dress was now too tight.  I might have lost my mind. [...]

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