Sometimes Revenge Looks Like Flats

There are many things that one learns about pregnancy after the fact. I am sure I am not the only one who swore up and down during my last trimester  that if “I knew what I know now back then, things would be VERY VERY DIFFERENT AT THIS MOMENT.” As loyal readers know, the single best thing about pregnancy (other than the baby, duh) is that it is the greatest equalizer ever. Even Kim Kardashian gets the puffy ankles

I knew about swollen ankles. At least, I thought I did. I remember watching my ankles swell after finishing a (super grab) bag of Rold Gold pretzels. If I didn’t know better, I would have sworn I was watching something over time lapse photography. The swelling was quick, and it was epic. It was also extremely sad as I could eat three meals a day consisting solely of  pretzels. (Salt is totally a food group.)

Thankfully, I got the memo…  She didn’t.

She claimed flats were uncomfortable. She tried to beat the system.

She lost. In related news, the gossip rags keep pitting Kim against Princess Kate, which makes me so sad because as much I love all things K, Kim doesn’t stand a chance…

 

 

High Heels Are a Bad Call When Pregnant

All ladies face the same joys (and unpleasantness) when pregnant. Even the Kardashians. (Shut up you watch them too!)

As everyone knows, Kourtney has had two babies and Kim is pregnant with her first. Of course, she has been all over the tabloids. Yesterday, I saw a picture of her prancing around in six inch Christian Louboutin heels.  While I am the first to agree that the shoes are fabulous, I just cannot wrap my head around the sheer stupidity of six inch heels while pregnant. (She is claiming that flats are uncomfortable. I mean, COME ON!)

Sure, being pregnant is wonderful and life changing and blah blah blah, but there are parts that are terrible. Awful. There are moments when you question your sanity for voluntarily putting yourself through the hells that are pregnancy. Things like eating pretzels (high salt content), peeing every six hours, sleeping more than forty five minutes at a time; and having a visual on your feet become a luxuries one can only dream about.

In a recent episode, Kim bashes Kourtney for being too much of a mom; claiming she’s boring and frumpy and doesn’t want to do anything fun anymore.  She razzles Kourtney for her weight gain. She says she doesn’t understand why Kourtney still hasn’t lost the last ten pounds she gained- the baby is already three months old!

Getting out of the house with one child is an Olympic feat in and of itself; I cannot imagine the level of planning and synchronization that is required with two. She also chastises Kourtney for taking an entire eight weeks off since the birth of her daughter. The nerve!

I cannot wait to hear the changing of the tune when Kim gives birth.

One celebrity who deserves good wishes is Princess Kate. I cannot imagine having the entire planet fixated on me on my best hair day ever; let alone on me as my belly (and hips and thighs) swell.  Minus the stiletto heels, she is the vision of maturity and I applaud her for being a Mommy (Mummy?) first and a Princess second.  All that said…better her than me!