Everything was perfect- K and I were so in love, and so happy, and just the picture of a Lifetime movie about Finding Love In Unexpected Places. And then, everything changed. One Friday in December, I got to work and called K. I couldn’t get him on the phone, which was weird as I could always count on him to answer the phone. The day went on, and K still wasn’t answering his phone. On Friday I was worried. On Saturday, I was pissed. By Sunday, I was levitating. You know that saying, “Hell Has No Fury Like A Woman Scorned”… That? Is a gross underestimate.
He finally answered the phone Sunday afternoon. He at least had the decency to be somewhat sheepish about his lack of communication. I demanded answers. He first tried to placate me with stupid BS excuses, but as I am not blind, stupid, or newly born that strategy did not work. He then tried being defensive. Why was I calling so much? That did not end well for him either.
Finally, he told me what had happened. He and his ex-fiance were going to try again. WTH?! Seriously? Remember, I already mentioned I was young and impressionable. I also had convinced myself that I NEEDED this relationship to work out. Empowered, independent women were turning out to be greater on paper than in real life. I had believed him when he told me that he was done with her, that he felt nothing for her, and that the wedding would have been a huge mistake. I needed to believe him when he told me how much he loved me, and that he was so excited for a future together.
His third option was to let me rant. And rant I did.
I demanded to know HOW this had happened because he told me that he never saw her.
I demanded to know WHY he told me things that were LIES.
I demanded to know what he was going to do to fix it, to fix me, to fix the unbelievable anger, pain, and loss of both a dream and of my rose colored glasses.
Also, what kind of COWARDLY mamby-pamby IGNORES frantic phone calls for THREE DAYS?!
Also, what jack ass waits to break up with his girlfriend when she is at work? This guy.
I worked for Nordstrom at the time, which is a store famous for its attention to its customers. We had very strict rules for what was appropriate on the sales floor. That Sunday, I broke every single one of them. I was a one woman s*** show. I was so scary that I did not get in trouble, I was simply asked to ‘please take my conversation outside’. I remember walking outside, in the snow, without a coat, for half an hour screaming. I was so out of my mind that the crazy homeless people were running away from me.
As I write this, I am attempting to put into words how angry and betrayed I felt (ten years later), yet words alone are not doing it justice. Also, I am getting mad all over again!
the dramatic ending tomorrow… I get mad, but do not break any stalking laws