When I Tried to Detox/ Cleanse, or The Worst Idea I Have Ever Had

Now, I have a finicky stomach.  Sometimes (all the time), certain foods can make me bloated and rather, um, musical.  Thomas was (and still is) aware of this, so when I came home armed with stomach and colon detox pills, he not only turned white, he was rendered momentarily mute. When he was able to speak again, he wanted to be on the record as saying, “This Is The Worst Idea You Have Ever Had”. Whatever, I was a bride on a mission. 

crazy bride When I Tried to Detox/ Cleanse, or The Worst Idea I Have Ever Had

 He perked up when he realized that he would be working for the next week and a half, so he would spared the detox and everything that came with it.  Sadly for him, it was a two week detox.  We had a trip planned to my parents, who live out of state. So, the last several days of the cleanse we would be in a small, confined space for multiple hours at a time because we were going on a road trip. I never experienced the full effect of the cleanse because I was forbidden from finishing it.  Thomas threatened to wear a gas mask. At that point, I realized that it just wasn’t worth the embarrassment; if he was wearing the gas mask, clearly he wasn’t the source…

dog car When I Tried to Detox/ Cleanse, or The Worst Idea I Have Ever Had

This is how Thomas would have had to ride…

 While it feels good to point out why such diets are stupid, the truth is that weight and dieting are very personal, and very emotional issues. As the mother of a daughter, I feel I have a responsibility to model responsible choices. OK, preachy, adult moment over. (Hey, I heard that sigh of relief!)  That being said, I have had my own ups and downs with different diets. The diets that failed were not so much my fault as a direct result of family and friends intervening. Some worked, and one almost caused my husband to call off our wedding…

 emma july 20121 When I Tried to Detox/ Cleanse, or The Worst Idea I Have Ever Had