It’s All Chicago’s Fault

When I moved to Chicago,  I knew two people – my high school sweetheart and my college best friend and roommate. They decided they preferred each other’s company to mine and I haven’t heard from them since.  After they hooked up (they ended up getting married), I didn’t even have a goldfish.  Out of sheer boredom, I turned to baking cookies.

chocolate chip cookies Its All Chicagos Fault

Lots and lots of cookies.  I had no one to share these cookies with, so I ate them. All of them.  I made mostly chocolate chip, but peanut butter was a close second. (I had this amazing recipe- jiffy pie crust mix, peanut butter, milk, and sugar. My mouth is watering as I type this.)

jiffy Its All Chicagos Fault

 I used Julia Math to justify this.  I reasoned that a few cookies had fewer calories than an evening full of beer drinking (and Pizza Express which is by far the most amazing pizza EVER), so I would actually LOSE weight on this plan.  FAIL.

Another fail was the Beer Diet.  A few friends took pity on me and came to visit.  We were all adjusting to life post-college, and had all gained a few pounds.  Because we are That Smart, we decided to go on The Beer Diet.  All beer, all the time. No food really, just beer. I think this diet had more long term potential, but it did make driving difficult.  FAIL.

After about a year, I moved back to St Louis, ready to socialize and have fun and actually leave my apartment for reasons outside of work. I hit a slight bump in road, however. None of my cute, social clothes fit.  I could A) buy all new clothes or B) stop stuffing my pie hole with cookies.  As much as I wanted to pick A, I didn’t have enough money to get a new wardrobe and pay rent, so I went with B.

I realized that it was not only going to take more than just laying off the cookies, I was already a regular at the gym, so I was also going to have to take a hard look at my diet.  The Zone Diet was all the rage thanks to Jennifer Aniston, and who doesn’t want to look like her? Her endorsement (according to US Weekly) and a quick internet search were all I needed to jump on the Zone bandwagon.  (“The Zone diet centers on a “40:30:30″ ratio of calories obtained daily from carbohydrates, proteins, and fats, respectively. It can be tricky to work out the amounts, so food blocks are suggested that comprise the set amount of each food group you should be consuming in any given meal.”)

 jennifer aniston Its All Chicagos Fault

The food blocks are designed to make life easier, and are similar to Weight Watchers Points.  To accurately determine a “block”, the food must be measured- in a cup measure, on a scale, or counted.  This is probably a selling point for most folks- the easier something is to do, the more likely one is to do it. For someone as OCD as I am, this should have been a red flag. Remember, I Commit to diets. If Everything in Moderation are words to live by then by all accounts I shouldn’t be here, telling this story. I have no idea how to execute ‘moderation’ in my day to day life.  When I decide to do something, I do it BIG.  A recent example is the saga of our TVs.  For everyone else, new TVs might necessitate a new TV stand.  Currently, I am buying new lamps to complete the updated look of our family room.  New TVs needed new stands, which needed new shelves, which needed new accessories to go on them, which needed new lamps to showcase them.  This is how I roll… This is Julia’s Math in Action.

Six On Sunday, Version 4

baskets Six On Sunday, Version 4

These made the cut!

1. Baskets.  I know you guys are sick of baskets, and to be honest with you, I am too! We made three round trips to Michael’s today, and I think we finally have a workable combination.  On a side note, I hoarded 40% off coupons all week- they are good starting today (June 10) and baskets were already 40% off!

2. Mob Wives.  This show is awesome. The ladies are caricatures of themselves! I keep thinking “they cannot BE serious!” but they are! I would like to say that they are very lovely and very nice and I don’t want to get on a Mob Wives Naughty List in any way, shape, or form.

3. Wine.  Actually, the lack there of.  I am on a crazy medication (I AM NOT PREGNANT AND NEVER WILL BE AGAIN FOR THE RECORD) that makes even discussing alcohol somewhat of a liability (I was warned against using mouthwash for crying out loud).  Turns out I am surprisingly productive when sober all weekend…

4. Grocery Lists. I am a fanatical list maker. I seriously make lists of lists. My grocery list for the week begins as soon ashandwritten grocery list 150x150 Six On Sunday, Version 4 we get home from the store (not really but by that afternoon!). Emma and I have a routine on Saturday mornings- we go to the gym, then we go to Trader Joe’s (LOVE) and then Walmart.    We were walking into Trader Joe’s when I realized our list was at home! I tried to wing it, which resulted in two (count them TWO) trips to Walmart in the same day.  I can go to Target all the time and think it’s fun, but Walmart is somehow a chore. I don’t know why…

5. Cookie Cups. We went to a birthday party this weekend and instead of using regular cups for ice cream, they used cookies! Genius. It turns out that it was genius to get the cookies to form cups.  The first try- putting cookie dough in muffin cups with a hollowed out center didn’t work as the cookies rose as they baked. The solution was to bake the cookies regularly, and invert them OVER an upside muffin pan while still hot

cookie cups 150x150 Six On Sunday, Version 4

So Genius! And Yummy!

from the oven.

6. Paint. As I might have mentioned once or twice (or fifty six) times, we got new furniture. Removing the old furniture and pictures left what looks like Morse code on my walls (that or the cat has been leaving desperate messages for years now). Guess what? Paint stored outside will be RUINED by the elements. Thank goodness for the new mini size trial containers of paint at Home Depot. I now have every color in my house and they are stored inside, ThankYouVeryMuch.  BTW the absolute best thing to use for touch ups is eye shadow foam brushes. You will thank me later!