Overplucked Eyebrows Take Forever To Grow Back & Other Lessons I Have Learned

Teenage girls do have the forgiving luxury of youth on their side. Many mistakes they make are chalked up to inexperience and are forgiven. Sadly, when it comes to makeup, the world is not so forgiving…

I have waxed poetic on some of the common mistakes these gals make. I have given advice. I have practically fallen on my knees, begging for them to listen.

Here is one last lesson, that I myself have learned the hard way…

Please know that the area under the eye is as sacred as you young girls tell your fathers you are. Nothing is to ever go there, NEVER EVER! (Sounds a lot like Dad’s advice, doesn’t it?!) Unless you are an expert, there is to be no liner, and no mascara under the eye. You can obtain expert status via an endorsement from your favorite local makeup counter gal.


If you do not know what I am talking about, rest assured you are not an expert. The only exception to this rule is concealer, which does not require a sign off. One day, when you have daughters of your own and you are so freaking tired because the-Good-Lord-knows-you-haven’t-had-a-full-night-of-sleep-since-they-were-born you will be VERY GLAD you have a good one (concealer. Hopefully daughter too!)

And finally, let’s address your eyebrows.  While the Brooke Shields look isn’t in vogue today,

neither is the Pamela Anderson.

I know it seems very grown up to pluck your eyebrows, but, like driving a car, it is a huge responsibility. And it takes practice. Just as no one is born knowing how to parallel park (and, to be fair, who can now?), no one is a perfect plucker. Please remember that less is not more! I speak from experience when I tell you that LIFE LONG DAMAGE can be done by over-plucking. Also, do not attempt to pluck your eyebrows after enjoying an adult beverage (Indiana University, Little 500, April 2001). I am here to tell you that sporting only half of an eyebrow isn’t a good look, and it cannot be camouflaged with makeup.

little 5 Overplucked Eyebrows Take Forever To Grow Back & Other Lessons I Have Learned

The Most Fun In College EVAH!

Girls, I don’t mean to be preachy, it’s just that I have made all of these mistakes (and many more), and I would hate for you to wander around, looking like a perpetually surprised weirdo sporting more mascara under your eyes than on your lashes. Trust me when I tell you to embrace your youth. Remember, I write this from the other side of thirty, and the other side of the hill isn’t so pretty. (In good news, however, you will have the resources when you are old and grey like me to pay for quality products.  Trust me, you will! Another lesson: DO NOT CUT CORNERS WHEN IT COMES TO SKINCARE. )

Until then, Godspeed girls.

Godspeed and a light hand with the makeup brush!