While my clothes are in storage, they not only remain Old Navy (instead of magically becoming Banana Republic), they transform themselves into “non clothes”.
“Non clothes” are the clothes that hang around your closet and take up space. Non clothes are the clothes that are too nice to give away for whatever reason.
Popular Justifications for Non Clothes
- · I got it on sale.
- · I have never worn it.
- · It’s a cute color.
- · It’s a great material (silk, cashmere).
- · I want to wear more (colors, v-necks, stripes, heels, turtlenecks, skinny jeans).
- · My friends assure me it’s cute (KISS OF DEATH. YOUR FRIENDS ARE BEING NICE. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS.).
Non clothes are the Guilt of Clothes. Like most guilt (not the bad guilt, like I Killed My Mother Guilt; more like I Ate Too Much Ice Cream Guilt), it should be ignored. If you haven’t worn it in a year, toss it. You will never wear it! (Besides, it’s not cute anyway. That’s why you never wore it!)
Each year, I am happy to report I am stricter in my designation of Non Clothes. When we first moved into our house, I had six bins full of clothes and non clothes. Now, I am down to two! Occasionally, this plan backfires… like this morning when I could not find anything to wear and stood in front of my closet, banging my head against the door jam, asking myself WHY WHY WHY did I get rid of all those sweaters? (The upside to the Non Clothes Purge is the shopping trip as it is really easy to justify! You do not have any clothes!)
When the clothes are finished, I start on my shoes. This is very depressing, as every year my footwear gets lower to the ground and decidedly less sexy. This “mom-a-fying” of my footwear does not deter Emma; she has to try on every single pair and march up and down the hallway. Not only does this delay the completion of the project, it hurts my ears!
After I have sorted, hung, folded, organized, and stored all the clothes, I get to go back up into the Scary Place. Dragging the bins up the folding ladder is slightly less annoying than hauling them down. On the way up, they do not fall on my head! So there’s that… And the fact that I have at least six months before I have to do it all over again. Now, I am off to pray that we do not have an Indian Summer, because I am not going through that again. Sweaters aren’t that hot, right?