My Knight In Shining Armor, or Boyfriend # 3

So, I married my third boyfriend. In real life, he is perfect.  However, on paper, Thomas was THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING I THOUGHT I WANTED. This makes life difficult interesting at times.  (Young couples: find a good therapist.  Trust me when I say that you will need one at some point. We LOVE ours.) At times, I wish our thought processes were more in line, but I when I stop to think about “Julia, Unchallenged” I sort of cringe.  I can be ruthlessly competitive (again, things to an extreme are NOT GOOD), and if I was in a marriage with someone as competitive as I am, we would have blood lust over simple things such as who did more chores (I cannot imagine the potential outcome of a Monopoly game). So, balance is good. I feel balance in most marriages is not about two extremes, but the heart wants what the heart wants, right?

Thomas is twelve and a half years older than I am. This is surprisingly less of a  big deal than you would think. As we both get older, the age difference becomes even less noticeable…

t graduation My Knight In Shining Armor, or Boyfriend # 3

Thomas, circa May 1985

 The only time my husband even remotely sounds like a “Chester” is when we discuss the events of 1985.  In May of 1985, Thomas graduated from high school… and in September, I started kindergarten.

julia 85 My Knight In Shining Armor, or Boyfriend # 3

Julia, circa 1985

 AGH! I know!  We can have entire conversations with cultural references that make no sense to the other one- for example; he will discover some terrible late 90’s show on cable and ask me if I remember it- um, no. I was at the bars from the late 90’s to early 2000’s, not watching TV because I WAS IN COLLEGE! Thank God for VH1’ s “I Love the 70’s and 80’s” because it provided context for many questionable references. (For both of us.  Thomas didn’t know much about He-Man, She-ra, or My Little Ponies.)

Lastly, Life Advice: In the end, marry someone who can make you laugh; marry someone that you want to make laugh, because nothing can stop a fight in its tracks faster than a silly, shared joke.  And, finally, marry someone that you would pick for the volleyball team, even if you wouldn’t pick them first.


t j laura wedding1 My Knight In Shining Armor, or Boyfriend # 3

Thomas & Julia, circa May 2011



  1. It’s unfortunate you aren’t able to discuss things like He-Man and My Little Ponies together. But if it makes you feel any better, my husband is my age but grew up in a super conservative home and missed out on lots, too (Neverending Story, for one!). He’s an expert on Psalty the Song Book though.
    Carrie recently posted..A Letter to 16-Year-Old MeMy Profile

  2. I totally cracked up over the fact that he graduated High School the year you started Kindergarten – isn’t it amazing how as you get older that age difference ‘gap’ seems to get narrower? I keep telling Princess Nagger on my next birthday I’m going to start going in reverse, subtracting a year each year so I can meet her in the middle. ;) And I love all your advice – very spot on! My hubby is literal man and a pessimist – I’m an eternal optimist – while we are polar opposite, we balance each other very well most of the time. I joke that he keeps me grounded and I keep him dreaming. ;)
    Stacy Uncorked recently posted..Getting Ready for the First Day of SchoolMy Profile

  3. Oh and I forgot to say I LOVE that picture of you two – and he totally doesn’t look like he’s 12-1/2 years older than you. :)
    Stacy Uncorked recently posted..Getting Ready for the First Day of SchoolMy Profile

  4. Such a cute photo of you two! Loved your whole series!!
    Mom of A and a recently posted..What I’ve been reading this week #6My Profile

  5. Loved reading how you found your “Knight” and such a lovely photo! My husband and I are the same age and we will be celebrating our 25th anniversary in a few weeks, I guess I would say we are opposites to a degree,he is laid back, I am a Type A personality but our foundation is very similar, meaning we wanted the same things out of life and we definitely agreed on how to raise our children,discipline and such. Yes, he keeps me laughing but I often caution young couples to make sure the values are same, the core because that stuff is very hard to change. You can negotiate picking up socks, and putting the cap on the toothpaste but values are tricky and sticky!
    Lucy recently posted..Saturday Funnies XLIIIIMy Profile

  6. my husband is only 2 months older than me but so opposite haha. He lied about many things (including musical tastes) so I’d go out with him
    grace recently posted..Football practice seasonMy Profile

  7. I am new to your blog and Love it!
    Ashley recently posted..The REAL MeMy Profile

  8. Loved reading this, isn’t there a saying age is only a number? I really think that the My Little Ponies conversation wouldn’t get very far with many men these days.

    You are a lovely couple and I’d never had guessed he was to much older than you.
    Debbie recently posted..Reading Glasses by VisAcuity {Review with an Awesome Giveaway}My Profile

  9. You guys are a cute couple. You look very very happy. thanks for stopping by the Drastic Fantastic to say hi!

  10. Thank you for stopping by my page! i’m glad you did. I enjoyed reading this post. The way you tell it, I can actually imagine having this conversation in person! I know so many people who are married to somebody a bit older than them. I don’t think it’s any more a factor than anything else in a marriage.

    The make them laugh bit is oh so true. John was completely freaking out about things one day, and said something about that being the icing on the cake. I said, well thank goodness, now we’ve got someplace to put the sprinkles. We both cracked up laughing and he finally relaxed and had a fun day.
    Shannon Stubbs recently posted..Summer #BlogChallenge August 20 Tip for new bloggersMy Profile

  11. leslieblock says:

    Ha, gotta kiss a few frogs until you find that prince. I married my “knight also”
    Found you from PMP blog hop

  12. I enjoyed reading this, I’m a serial girlfriend myself and I don’t ‘do’ single…. not sure if I’d know how! it does make me wonder what I’m missing though…

    rebecca recently posted..I love Fall! Tagged PostMy Profile


  1. [...] I learned that it’s OK to be That Girl Without A Boyfriend sometimes. I also learned what a true Knight in Shining Armor looks like…. My Knight /* FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail Filed Under: Dating stories, Me Tagged With: break [...]

  2. [...] So, I married my third boyfriend. (I am not counting my forgotten boyfriend; he sucked.) Like all things Julia’s Math, the road was not always straight, wide, and freshly paved, but I knew within two days of meeting Thomas that I would marry him. I know everyone says that, but I really did know (he, however, was not as certain). Unlike everyone else who says “I just knew I would marry him, it was so magical and wonderful and blah, blah, blah,” I am not saying I thought it was a good idea (I do now, of course!), as I mentioned, not only were we opposites of each other, but he was the opposite of what I thought I wanted. When I met him, I was 23 and just out of college, he was 35 and divorced … [...]

  3. [...] I mentioned, Thomas and I met on a cruise at the bar in church doing mission work for poor orphans.  There was a sushi bar on the ship.  I had never [...]

  4. [...] have never used online dating. While I am happily married, I often wonder who would have been my “match”. I happily skipped the awkward first drink, the [...]

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