Karma… Its a Bitch

Karma is a bitch. I know this, you know this. I am so excited for the punk kid who stole my parking space today to learn about Karma. I am hopeful this lesson will be learned the hard way. As a society, we have certain unspoken rules of behavior. (I’m not even discussing the pitiful, dumbed down etiquette expectations of the general public!) These unspoken agreements govern things like waiting in line, waiting your turn, and waiting for someone to vacate a parking space so you can pull in. (There also used to be an unspoken agreement that folks would keep their personal business to themselves by not having private conversations in public, in front of others. Sadly, everyone is now operating under the assumption that they are a Kardashian, and that everything they say and do is of interest to everyone around them…. Now, I love Khloe & Lamar as much as the next aging ex-sorority girl, but unless you have that brand of crazy, I don’t need to know your business and, frankly, I don’t care. PLEASE GET OFF YOUR CELL PHONE AND PAY ATTENTION!)

Ladies Who Lunch

The other day, I went to lunch with my girlfriends. It had been shaping up to be a great day- weather was wonderful, I was looking forward to catching up with my friends (we had a lot to discuss, given the House Tour the weekend before), and it was the weekend! As I pulled into the parking lot, two wonderful things happened: I was early AND I pulled into to the parking lot just as someone was backing out! I congratulated myself, flicked on my blinker- the universal sign of “This is my MY spot, bitches”, and turned up the radio (because Britney was playing! Love her! And don’t bother to comment or email me and say that she’s terrible or I have terrible taste or whatever. She’s awesome and always will be! Also- you won’t change my mind.) The car in front of me backed out and turned towards me, and in that split second the course of the day was changed. Some punk-ass-Justin-Bieber-hair-cut (CUT YOUR DAMN HAIR)-driving-Daddy’s-Land-Rover douche bag teenager swooped in and stole my spot. Oh no, you did’ant! I politely drew the driver’s attention to this misjudgment (I blocked his car in and laid on my horn).

J: “You totally took my spot! I was sitting here with my blinker on!”

Justin-Bieber-Wanna-Be-Douche-Bag (JBWBDB): “Whatever we were like totally waiting too.”

J: “Um, no, you were not. I have been waiting, with my blinker on. Please move your car so I can have my spot.”

I won’t bore you with the back and forth, as his friend, Justin-Bieber-Wanna-Be-Douche-Bag-#2, then got in on the action. He was even more articulate than #1. (Friends, we have a lot to worry about if these guys are our future. We might consider just hiring ourselves to the Chinese now so we get a better labor contract.) The conversation- I am using the term loosely- ended with a warning.

“I just want you to know that Karma is a bitch, and what goes around comes around.”

Sure, he laughed, and blew me off as the crazy middle aged lady, but when Karma kicks his ass, I hope he thinks of me. I just wish I could be there to witness it…