Today was A GREAT DAY. I was at home working when I heard the UPS guy. I get stuff from UPS daily, so I did not expect this to be the highlight of my day. I went outside to see what I had received, and that’s when the visit from the UPS man became the most exciting part of my day because someone sent me flowers!
I brought the box inside and attempted to free my flowers. I alternated between being really impressed with Pro Flowers and their packing skills and being really really frustrated with Pro Flowers and their packing skills. Finally, the beautiful flowers were out of the box. After I finished admiring them, I looked for the card.
“CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU, MS. THANG, ARE A PUBLISHED-FREAKING-AUTHOR!! AWESOME, PLUS A SCOOP OF AWESOME, COVERED IN BITCH SPRINKLES = JULIA’S MATH I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!”
Wow! The perks of fame! I could get used to this! I re-read the card, smiling to myself. I reached for my phone to call… wait…. The card wasn’t signed! Who could have possibly sent me such a wonderful surprise? I knew it wasn’t Thomas because A) he is way too cheap not the kind of guy to send flowers, and B)he would not have written a card calling me Miss Thang! I knew it was someone I am close to because they had my home address. I racked my brain, and then it came to me! My bestie Liz (who is amazing and proof reads every word you guys read) must have sent them! I know she is proud of me, and sending flowers is a classy thing to do and Liz is queen of the Classy Club. I couldn’t believe it! I dialed her number, and left her a voicemail telling her how much she means to me, and how I cannot believe I lucked out so much to get such an amazing bestie!
A couple of hours later, I received the following text: “Ummm this is awkward, what did I do that was so sweet? I’m not aware of anything.’” (For the record: I still LOVE Liz and I am still not sure what I did to deserve such an amazing BFF.)
If Liz didn’t send me flowers, then who did?!
All of a sudden, I knew. My sister Laura had! The card was vintage Laura, and she had called me the night before to congratulate me. Also, Laura is a member of the Classy Club. (Most of the time anyway. I will not hold her senior year of college and her fraternity house of an apartment against her.) She had been off the grid for a couple of days attending a wedding, and had somehow missed the 92 Facebook posts/Tweets/emails of flagrant self promotion I had sent. I called her and told her she was the best sister ever (what are you doing to do to top that JEN?!) and thanked her so much. Also, I appointed her President of the Julia’s Math Fan Club. She accepted with great humility. She also apologized for not signing her name. She said she filled in her name so many times- to set up an account, for payment, etc- that she figured it would be automatically added to the card.
If this is the price of fame, I am so willing to pay it!