My daughter Emma had a one of a kind ‘lovey’ (security item), Puppy. In most aspects of life, I encourage Emma to seek out the unique, and to find her path.  Case in point? Emma wears tutus all the time, except for school and only because of the uniform.  She even sleeps in tutus! New parents, pay attention as I am about to share a commandment of parenting: Always Have Back Up, from extra diapers and onesies to loveys. We, sadly, made a rookie mistake and did not have a back up Puppy and were forced to say goodbye forever about six months ago, when Puppy Got Lost.

Thankfully, after an appropriate mourning period, Emma found a new friend. Bonnie Bunny entered our lives, and filled Emma’s heart, and promoted non-stop thumb sucking.

It seems like Emma’s favorite game is ‘Where In The World Is Bonnie Bunny?’ This game is best played when we are late- especially for bedtime.

Now, loyal readers know that my mom neatly solved my security blanket issues by THROWING AWAY MY BLANKIE, OLD FAITHFUL. One would think that I would remember this trauma, and that I would be more understanding when my daughter loses her ‘lovey’. Oh, how very wrong you are!

Losing Bonnie Bunny causes me to lose my mind. The loss of Bonnie Bunny causes the intense kind of stand offs usually seen in the Middle East: Emma wandering around the house, crying for the lost lovey while I am STOMPING around, opening every single drawer in our house for the fifth time in the desperate hopes that Bonnie will be there. She never is.

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Bonnie is still with us, and these days she is much easier to find because she now lives exclusively in Emma’s bedroom. Emma is staying true to form and trying to do all the things I did as a child, which causes some concern about the prospect of large orthodontic bills. I think my teeth alone funded at least two college educations (and not one of them was mine). While Bonnie’s new restrictions are sad, they are better than the alternative of THROWING AWAY THE LOVEY.

I look forward to a day when Bonnie Bunny is loved, but not in the world revolving around her way that she is now. And, I promise to keep her for prosperity.

(My mom really is a wonderful mother, and I try every day to be half the mother she is. Even though she tossed Old Faithful.)

1. The Bachelor.  Seriously, how have I missed this sh*t storm of Girls Behaving Meanly?  Also, having one arm is kind of the new black- I mean, that chick can get away with ANYTHING!

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2. Champagne and Petit Fours. I’m happy to report STILL the best meal of all time. Hands down.

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3. Bedroom TV. We have not had a TV in our bedroom since we got married. I read somewhere that having a TV-less bedroom is a good idea because it reserves the bedroom for bedroom activities (assorted). Six and a half years in, and I still do not sleep very well, and we got the deal of a life time when our neighbors upgraded their 42 inch for a 50 inch at Christmas. I do not foresee this television getting a lot of use, as I always read before going to sleep at night and leisurely mornings are a distant memory… (I almost think they were never real; that waking up without an alarm and not having to do anything right away is a fairy tale.) However, if stars ever align themselves I will be ready.

4. Birthday Parties. Emma attended an at home daycare (Hi Ms Sherri!) for the first three years of her life, with the same four other kids. The only birthday parties we attended were hers, and those parties were a more Mommy and Daddy’s speed than Emma’s. She is now in a traditional daycare/school with twenty other kids in her class. Twenty birthday parties a year. We went to one on Friday, and we have another this afternoon (rumor had it that there was a third party Saturday, but we did not make the cut for that one, for which I’m eternally grateful.)

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5. MLK Holiday. While I do not have the day off tomorrow, schools are out and that means traffic should be a breeze (that sound you are hearing is me, knocking on wood).

6. My Engagement Ring. I loved it when I received it (true story: instead of saying “yes”, I said “Shut Up You Got The Ring!”) and I love it to this day. My wedding bands are at the jewelers having diamonds replaced (each one conveniently lost a stone at the same time), so I am wearing only my engagement ring, and it has been a lot of fun admiring it sparkle all by itself.

After experiencing both ‘Northern’ and ‘Southern’ Thanksgiving, I can honestly say that both have their standout dishes. Pumpkin pie and stuffing are the super stars of the North. The South has introduced me to delicious dishes like homemade Mac and Cheese (especially my mother-in-law’s).

Some things I thought would be universal- the figurative olive branch between the North and the South.

Peace, Love, and Gravy
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I was wrong.

Very, Very wrong.

Almost a decade in, and I still cannot get over their “gravy”. To me, gravy is a smooth, brown liquid. Real gravy is difficult to make, as it requires making a roux first. My gravy is the powdered kind from the packet (sorry Dad), but it is smooth and brown.  Thomas’s family gravy is unlike anything I have ever seen…. Firstly, it had random chunks of turkey (?) meat, bones, and fat floating in it. Also, there were HUNKS OF HARD BOILED EGGES FLOATING IN THIS SO CALLED GRAVY.

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I KNOW.

My first reaction was to frantically whisper to Thomas that someone forgot to strain the gravy and that it needed to be done right away before anyone else noticed. He threw me an odd look and said the gravy looked just fine to him. Clearly, he had not seen the EGGS floating in it. I urgently whispered to him again that the gravy must have been rushed to the table, sans straining, because there was egg in it.  This earned me another odd look and an explanation: The gravy was SUPPOSED to have all that stuff in it.

WTH?! I took a moment to collect myself. I could not believe something as sacred as the gravy had been tainted. I had had suspicions going in; I knew I probably wouldn’t find stuffing or crunchy green beans. I was even willing to try sweet potato pie (for the record, huge disappointment as pumpkin is way better). But the gravy?! A girl has her standards, people.

In good news, Thanksgiving itself was very nice.  I am lucky enough to have married into a family that is gentle, loving, and sincere. Even if they cannot make decent gravy.

This year, we started our own tradition.  The “Thanksgiving Fairy” came to visit our house, and brought Emma a new dress and matching shoes. (In related news, she keeps asking me if the Thanksgiving fairy can come again TODAY to visit her.) Emma, Thomas and I toasted our good fortunes with champagne, and then ate dinner in the dining room using the china, silver, and crystal. We had stuffing and pumpkin pie, and the gravy was smooth and brown.

We enjoyed ourselves immensely, and genuinely hope you did too.

While my clothes are in storage, they not only remain Old Navy (instead of magically becoming Banana Republic), they transform themselves into “non clothes”.

“Non clothes” are the clothes that hang around your closet and take up space. Non clothes are the clothes that are too nice to give away for whatever reason.

Non Clothes
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Popular Justifications for Non Clothes

• ·         I got it on sale.
• ·         I have never worn it.
• ·         It’s a cute color.
• ·         It’s a great material (silk, cashmere).
• ·         I want to wear more (colors, v-necks, stripes, heels, turtlenecks, skinny jeans).
• ·         My friends assure me it’s cute (KISS OF DEATH. YOUR FRIENDS ARE BEING NICE. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS.).

Non clothes are the Guilt of Clothes.  Like most guilt (not the bad guilt, like I Killed My Mother Guilt; more like I Ate Too Much Ice Cream Guilt), it should be ignored. If you haven’t worn it in a year, toss it. You will never wear it! (Besides, it’s not cute anyway. That’s why you never wore it!)
Each year, I am happy to report I am stricter in my designation of Non Clothes. When we first moved into our house, I had six bins full of clothes and non clothes. Now, I am down to two! Occasionally, this plan backfires… like this morning when I could not find anything to wear and stood in front of my closet, banging my head against the door jam, asking myself WHY WHY WHY did I get rid of all those sweaters? (The upside to the Non Clothes Purge is the shopping trip as it is really easy to justify! You do not have any clothes!)

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When the clothes are finished, I start on my shoes. This is very depressing, as every year my footwear gets lower to the ground and decidedly less sexy.  This “mom-a-fying” of my footwear does not deter Emma; she has to try on every single pair and march up and down the hallway. Not only does this delay the completion of the project, it hurts my ears!

After I have sorted, hung, folded, organized, and stored all the clothes, I get to go back up into the Scary Place. Dragging the bins up the folding ladder is slightly less annoying than hauling them down.  On the way up, they do not fall on my head! So there’s that… And the fact that I have at least six months before I have to do it all over again. Now, I am off to pray that we do not have an Indian Summer, because I am not going through that again. Sweaters aren’t that hot, right?

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1. Thank You Veterans.  Especially today, and each and every day. God Bless you all.

The Election. Regardless, it is over. No more “Ohio” or “Pennsylvania” for four more years- at least three and a half anyway. I call that a cause for celebration!

3. No More News. I have had it! I was a news junkie in the weeks and  months leading up to the election.  Radio, TV, and Internet were all sources of my addiction…I also abused the apps on my iPhone. I even used good old-fashioned magazines and newspapers to get my fix.  Bottom line: if it was news related, I was watching/listening/reading  it. I. Am. Done. No more. I started my day Wednesday watching GMA . I watched a piece on gel manicures:  at home kits vs the salon (the salon kind are WAY better). I also learned how to poach an egg.  Totally mindless. It was awesome.

Witness
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4. Cold Mornings. I go to the gym before work. I maintain it is less painful because I am not really awake.  Also, I get a certain level of smug satification from knowing that by 7am I have dominated the day. The worst part, by far, is getting out of my warm, cozy bed. Dark and cold are great for sleeping for a reason, my friends.  As much as I abhor cold mornings, I find myself praying for freezing temperatures.  Last year, we did not have a ‘hard freeze’ in Georgia, which meant that all of the bugs- mosquitos, ticks, roaches and fleas for example- were not killed. We have had a MESS of bugs as a result this summer, and I am not excited about the possibility of another buggy year.

5. The Battle Of The (Potty) Bowl. Is over! I reign victoriously! Last Thursday, we told Emma she was not going to be wearing pull ups anymore.  She was donezo. I am so pleased to report that she did not call our bluff; and while she has had a few accidents, she hasn’t looked back.

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6.  TV Without Cable. I think we might be ready to cut the cord.  We have an Apple TV (iTV?) and Netflix, and are finding ourselves almost exclusively using them for our TV viewing.I do not watch anything on live TV (see #2) except for Real Housewives (Atlanta and OC. I really tried Miami; I really really did.).  Thomas likes USA Network, but is having a hard time justifying the monthly bill for just one channel. If anyone has done it, please let me know how you did and how happy you are!