Overplucked Eyebrows Take Forever To Grow Back & Other Lessons I Have Learned

Teenage girls do have the forgiving luxury of youth on their side. Many mistakes they make are chalked up to inexperience and are forgiven. Sadly, when it comes to makeup, the world is not so forgiving…

I have waxed poetic on some of the common mistakes these gals make. I have given advice. I have practically fallen on my knees, begging for them to listen.

Here is one last lesson, that I myself have learned the hard way…

Please know that the area under the eye is as sacred as you young girls tell your fathers you are. Nothing is to ever go there, NEVER EVER! (Sounds a lot like Dad’s advice, doesn’t it?!) Unless you are an expert, there is to be no liner, and no mascara under the eye. You can obtain expert status via an endorsement from your favorite local makeup counter gal.


If you do not know what I am talking about, rest assured you are not an expert. The only exception to this rule is concealer, which does not require a sign off. One day, when you have daughters of your own and you are so freaking tired because the-Good-Lord-knows-you-haven’t-had-a-full-night-of-sleep-since-they-were-born you will be VERY GLAD you have a good one (concealer. Hopefully daughter too!)

And finally, let’s address your eyebrows.  While the Brooke Shields look isn’t in vogue today,

neither is the Pamela Anderson.

I know it seems very grown up to pluck your eyebrows, but, like driving a car, it is a huge responsibility. And it takes practice. Just as no one is born knowing how to parallel park (and, to be fair, who can now?), no one is a perfect plucker. Please remember that less is not more! I speak from experience when I tell you that LIFE LONG DAMAGE can be done by over-plucking. Also, do not attempt to pluck your eyebrows after enjoying an adult beverage (Indiana University, Little 500, April 2001). I am here to tell you that sporting only half of an eyebrow isn’t a good look, and it cannot be camouflaged with makeup.

little 5 Overplucked Eyebrows Take Forever To Grow Back & Other Lessons I Have Learned

The Most Fun In College EVAH!

Girls, I don’t mean to be preachy, it’s just that I have made all of these mistakes (and many more), and I would hate for you to wander around, looking like a perpetually surprised weirdo sporting more mascara under your eyes than on your lashes. Trust me when I tell you to embrace your youth. Remember, I write this from the other side of thirty, and the other side of the hill isn’t so pretty. (In good news, however, you will have the resources when you are old and grey like me to pay for quality products.  Trust me, you will! Another lesson: DO NOT CUT CORNERS WHEN IT COMES TO SKINCARE. )

Until then, Godspeed girls.

Godspeed and a light hand with the makeup brush!


Liquid Eyeliner Is A Priviledge

My recent trip down memory lane- AKA my Bout With Teenage Skin- made me think about all things beauty related during that time in my life. I have concluded that there are several universal Terrible Makeup Mistakes that all teenage girls make. The most obvious is choosing lip products based on flavor. I know for a fact every single one of you reading this right now had a Bonnie Bell Dr Pepper Lip Smacker. I can only hope and pray that you no longer do.


bonne bell dr pepper lip smacker mobile wallpaper1 Liquid Eyeliner Is A Priviledge


Most gals crash and burn at the eyes. Eyes are referred to as the windows to our souls. Sadly, for many teenage girls, these windows are dirty- streaked with black sludge. I understand the appeal- nothing shouts “Grown Up” like expertly made up eyes. When done correctly, eyeliner enhances the eyes, and makes the whites whiter, the lashes thicker, and showcases the entire eye. However. While Black is the new Black, and black is grown up and sexy and sophisticated, black is also a responsibility. When used incorrectly, the look can go from sultry to skanky in the blink of an eye. Pun intended.  (I would also argue that “sultry” isn’t a word teenage girls should embrace, but I feel they would roll their over-done eyes and I would lose their attention.)

Liquid eyeliner is the number one culprit. Ladies: listen to me. Liquid eyeliner requires years of training to be applied correctly. It requires a steady hand as even the tiniest slip of a wrist can cause a formerly straight line to resemble the Mississippi River. Even after these years of training, it may be discovered that you and the liquid eyeliner just might not be compatible. Some gals, though, can pull it off- see Winehouse, Amy- but many (most) of us cannot.

Amy Winehouse1 Liquid Eyeliner Is A Priviledge

She’s Got The Look

And that’s OK. Anything that when applied causes your eyes to burn and tear isn’t a good look.

Sadly, this is not the only mistake you teenage lovelys make…