The Crutches Fairy & Other Unanswered Questions

Unless you believe in things like the Crutches Fairy, you probably had a few questions about my last post- the one where I talked about cheering Indiana on to victory lose during the Final Four in 2002. I got an email from my best friend asking me some rather pointed questions- Where did you get crutches? (She clearly does not believe in the Crutches Fairy. Hater.) Did you get another interview after you blew off the first one?

My search for crutches was exhausting.  Thank God it was short (remember, I found a Real World marathon on TV and decided to watch that instead.)

I first tried pharmacies- Rite Aid, CVS, and Walgreens. Oddly, none of these stores had crutches for sale. Next stop was stores-that-sell-everything, like Target. Sadly, I again had no luck. This was one of the few times in my life that Target has let me down. It was a sad day!

After the Target disappointment, I went home and searched the internet (on my dial up AOL account) for ‘places to get crutches’.  Success! A few places even had crutches available for rent! My spirits soared as I called the number listed… and quickly deflated when I heard that I would need a written prescription before they could help me.

As everyone knows, a good Rule Of Life is to call your mother when the going gets tough- when you want to hide in the corner and sob. I took my own advice and called my mom because I was out of ideas and out of options and in a huge rush (remember my job interview?). She suggested I contact the Student Health Center (SHC) and make an appointment to see a healthcare provider who could look at my ankle, determine if I needed crutches, and write the script for me if I did. In true motherly fashion, she was concerned with my health and reminded me that I would not want to work for any employer who was not understanding with regard to a medical issue. What can I say- the woman is brilliant (also, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree)!

I called the SHC and made an appointment for later that day- too late for me to make my interview.  (Thankfully the Real World Marathon on MTV allowed me to move past my sorrows.)

The doctor at the SHC took one look at my ankle and promptly wrote a script for crutches… and then directed me to a different part of the clinic so I could pick them up. Genius!

I never rescheduled my interview. It was for an insurance company, and upon further reflection, it was not a direction I was willing to subject myself to wanted to go with my career.

I ended up working at Nordstrom after graduation.

Front Row Seats Made It Worth It

While  cheering my Indiana Hoosiers on to sweet, sweet victory (suck it DUKE!), I took one for the team.

I went down, and I went down hard. I landed directly on my ankle, which made an odd noise- much like a POP- when I landed on it.

The next morning, I woke up to dark purple (Indiana University crimson?) ankle that was at least twice the size of my other ankle. This was problematic because I had a job interview in Indianapolis (an hour away) that day. This was March 2002, a mere seven months after 9/11. The economy was turning down, and fast. I had to go on the interview. But first, I had to get some crutches!

I could not find anyone anywhere that would sell me a set. I tried and tried, and no one would take my hard earned, (OK my parents’ hard earned) good money for a set of crutches. Next, I tried to rent some. That was also unsuccessful as , no one will let you rent any without a prescription for them. When it became clear that I was not going to be able to procure crutches in the very short term (I had about an hour from the time I woke up until the time I had to leave for my interview), I resigned myself to the couch and the Real World marathon that was on.

My pity party lasted only a few short minutes before I realized that life had to go on because we had another basketball to watch the next day. The question wasn’t IF I could find somewhere to watch game comfortably, it is was WHERE would I go?

There have been a few times in my life when I have been able to play the Princess Card (my entire pregnancy comes to mind). This was one of those times.

We rolled up (in my case, gimped up) to the bar about an hour before tip-off. This time, however, we did not have to wait in line for entrance. We were whisked to the front of the line and ushered in the door. It was kind of like being one of the Kardashians. The princess treatment did not stop there! The hostess pressed on, through the throngs of fans clad in cream and crimson. She stopped in front of a table that was DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE TV! Forget Khloe, Kourtney, Kris and all the rest of them, this was the Kim Kardashian treatment!

We assured her that this table would work for us (hell yes it would!) and thanked her for her help. These crutches rocked!

Although the game did not have a fairy tale ending, at least I was able to watch it in style.

My crutches also came in handy during trips through the crowded bar to the bathroom- my boyfriend would stand behind me, yelling “Girl on Crutches! Coming through! Move!” while I would whack those in my way with the rubber end of my crutch…

All in all, crutches suck. However, being the ex-Girl Scout that I am, I was able to make the best of it. Having the best seats in the house (outside of the stadium) did make it all worth it.

Great Expectations

I am so proud to direct you all to a piece I wrote over at G Funkified!

G Funkified is a blog written by Greta, a fun, honest mother of four (!) who has her Sassy Pants on!

I am so excited to share my thoughts on ‘expectations’, and I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

wedding sav11 Great Expectations



Indiana Won- I Cannot Walk, But It Is Worth IT!

March 2002.  Bloomington, Indiana. The Sweet Sixteen.

My friends and I wanted to cheer our Indiana Hoosiers to victory against Duke in style- we wanted to go the bar. Shockingly, we were not the only people in town who wanted do to the same. Because no one had volunteered to show up at noon to procure a table, we were forced to wait in line like everyone else (I HATE having to do what everyone does. I so believe the rules are not meant for me.)

So, we joined the masses filing in before tipoff. After a lengthy wait outside the bar, we were finally allowed inside. To this day, I’m not sure how we actually gained admittance as no one was leaving and the bar was at capacity (we shall not discuss pesky things like fire safety laws). The bar (Yogi’s for my B-town friends) was six feet deep with crazed fans. The energy was positively electric. It was awesome! It was an act of God to get a beer, but it was awesome! In a surprise upset, Indiana DEFEATED Duke in the Sweet Sixteen! When they won, the bar went NUTS. Every single person in the joint was jumping up and down. Strangers kissing strangers. Free beer for everyone! Everyone was jumping up and down, screaming the IU fight song. We made the building shake on its foundation!

Celebration or not, the laws of Julia’s Math still apply- and OF COURSE something unforeseen happened to me. Those who know me (or who have read even one blog post) are not shocked that somehow bad luck found me. During the celebration, I went down. I went down big time. I followed one of my life’s mantras: “If you are going to do it, do it BIG.” Even with all the cheering and singing, I heard a very distinct POP in my left ankle. Undeterred, I celebrated on. I think I even walked home that night, which turned out to be a very bad decision…

The next morning, I woke up to dark purple (Indiana University crimson?) ankle that was at least twice the size of my other ankle. This was problematic because I had a job interview in Indianapolis (an hour away) that day…


Crutches At March Madness

Being on crutches sucks. After five minutes of hobbling around, you feel like your armpits have lost every layer of skin.

Except when being on crutches is your Golden Ticket.

My senior year in college was the last time the Hoosiers made it to the final game.  (As I write this, I cannot BELIEVE it was eleven years ago.)

Truly, those few weeks were a magical time. Sports can unify people like very few other things can, and it is an intensely emotional bond. As cheesy as it sounds, I really felt like I was part of something quite special. During those games it felt as if time stood still. Every bar was packed to the gills with fans wearing their Indiana Basketball Tshirts, chanting the fight song:

Indiana, Our Indiana,

Indiana, we’re all for you!

We will fight for the cream and crimson,

For the glory of old IU

Never daunted, we cannot falter

In the battle, we’re tried and true

Indiana, Our Indiana,

Indiana, we’re all for you!


Because everyone wanted to watch the game at a bar, advance planning was required. All of the bars opened at noon, and to get a table (and faster bar service), someone had to show up at noon to claim a table.

While in theory it sounds like a good idea to spend seven hours in a shitty college bar drinking shitty college beer, the reality is that A) I suck at waiting for things, which makes everyone around me homicidal, B) it gets expensive to drink for twelve hours (even cheap college pitchers), and C) I suck at waiting for things (did I already mention this point?), thus rendering getting myself to the bar at noon impossible. Sadly, my powers of persuasion did not work on my boyfriend or on my best friend as neither of them volunteered (or caved to my repeated requests) to give up their afternoon to go sit at the bar.

I was about to find another way to secure a table during March Madness. Before you congratulate me on my powers of persuasion  you should know that crutches open many doors (and secure sitting in crowded bars)…

Six On Monday (Again)

1. Sage Magazine. If you missed it (shame on you!), I was once again honored to be a part of this fabulous publication! My favorite pages are 18 & 19 and 72 & 73… but I might be biased. Hope you love it!

sage april Six On Monday (Again)


2.  Baby Showers. I attended two this weekend! Just to be safe, I made sure to avoid the water. I made the safer choice of chardonnay! I know, I am a modern hero. In all seriousness, congrats to the new moms; the parties were lovely. And, I could drink all the water in the big blue sea and nothing would happen- I made sure of that!

3. Menchie’s. As you all, I am obsessed with Menchie’s, specifically the Red Velvet flavor. Every month, they feature a new Flavor Of The Month- and the last two months they have really dropped the ball. The Salted Caramel of March tasted like flavored ocean water, and the Pink Lemonade Sorbet of April tastes like very intense, very cold Crystal Lite… I am remain a devoted Red Velvet fan.

4. Tip Well. I was a repeat customer at Cheeky’s, a local Mexican place this weekend. I had the same waiter as last week, and he remembered me (me and my checkbook). When I ordered “as much wine as you can give me and still charge me for one drink”, he totally delivered. I again tipped him generously, and hope to have the same arrangement when we visit again.

5. The Americans. This show is amazing! Incredible! If you are not watching, get on board. Immediately.(Also, who knew Felicity could kick so much ass?!)

6. Apple ID. Perhaps someone can riddle me this- why does my apple ID work when I install apps on my phone but will not work when I try to log into my account on my laptop? Driving me CRAZY. Please help!

apple id Six On Monday (Again)



SAGE Magazine

Guess what!!

The April edition of Sage Magazine is out!

sage april SAGE Magazine


And, in even better news, guess who again contributed… that’s right, your favorite author and blogger… ME!

julia emma 1 SAGE Magazine

Me and my shadow

While all of the pages are good, some of my favorites are pages 18 & 19.  Also, please be sure to check out pages 72 & 73.

Thank you !!

Six On Sunday, The Tuesday Version

1. Pollen. Green is the New Black. It is covering EVERYTHING. I moved to Atlanta nine years ago and it still blows my mind every spring. Words cannot do justice to the amount of pollen, so just look at the pictures and be smug you do not live here!

2. The Pink House. Thomas and I went to Savannah for a wedding this weekend, and we finally made it to the Pink House. The Pink House is a historical building that was a favorite hang out of Revolutionary war heroes. It was saved in the 1950s and converted into a restaurant. In all the years we have been visiting Savannah we have never been there, despite our best efforts. From all accounts, it combines several of my favorite things- history, great food and drinks, dress required (in the dining room), and pink! On Friday, we finally made it!  As an added bonus, my parents attended the wedding as well and came with us. It was wonderful.

3. Phone 5. I got a new phone- the iPhone 5. I love the bigger screen and the fact that is it more lightweight. I HATE the fact that I had to buy all new chargers for it. Well played Apple, well played.

4. Sirrus Satellite Radio. Wow! How cool! I realize I am the last one to this party, but I am finally here! The drive to Savannah flew by with the addition of Sirrus. In an added bonus, I am discovering all kinds of 90s tunes I had forgotten about- C&C Music Factory anyone?!

5. Dance Lessons. We did not see a lot of my parents at the wedding because they were too busy dancing. They took up dance lessons last year and have been tearing it up ever since. There was a wonderful eleven (!) piece band at the wedding and they made the most of it. I think they intimidated everyone else because no one else was dancing! It was great to watch, and Thomas suggested that we take lessons. He might or might not have been on his second bourbon when he said it, but I am taking it! Now, we just have to find a place that will accommodate his schedule (which is basically open ended ALL THE TIME).

dancing with the stars logo 455x320 Six On Sunday, The Tuesday Version

My parents would totally rock this show!

6. My allergies. My allergy woes continue. I recently found out I am allergic to thimersol, which is a chemical commonly found in contact solution and make up. After switching all my contact solutions and make up, I am still having the same issues… and this time, they think the culprit might be nail polish.  Anyone who knows me AT ALL has never seen my fingers (let alone my toes) without polish. A small (OK large) piece of me DIED when I heard that… .thankfully, it is not confirmed. Confirmation will come in the shape of more long term patch tests… cannot wait…

Six On Sunday, Version 36

1. Indiana Basketball. So over it.

2. Cadbury Creme Eggs. YUMMO. Old school, I know, but still my favorite.

3. Easter Candy. I swear, Easter is the new Halloween. I think Emma received more candy today than she did on Halloween. I am all for a few jelly beans and some Robin’s eggs (a close second to the Cadbury egg), but the situation has gotten out of control. Perhaps the dentists are receiving kickbacks?

4. Broken iPhone. Nothing screams WHITE TRASH like a cracked iPhone screen. I dropped my phone on Thursday… When it landed, it made a noise that was different from any other time that I dropped it. I debated on not picking it up, but ultimately decided that wasn’t a good solution either. For $90, I can get the screen replaced. For $169, I can use my insurance. For $200 (plus a $30 upgrade fee WTF is that all about?!), I can upgrade to the iPhone 5. I’m probably gonna go 5…

5. Pinterest. It’s starting to happen- Pinterest is starting to control my life. I have tried so hard to avoid her siren song, but I fear she has her clutches in me! This is what I have spent my entire afternoon attempting to create:

eaa7ef50d0fab1aa0937b93acdd5479d Six On Sunday, Version 36


so far all I can say is “Work In Progress”.

6. Monograms.

southern monogram Six On Sunday, Version 36

I have monogrammed almost every single article of clothing that Emma will wear this summer. She wears a uniform to school (best thing that has ever happened to me- other than me wearing a uniform for the first twelve years of my scholastic career) and loves it. Sadly, uniforms are not worn during the summer. While I am dreading the inevtiable fights over wardrobe choices, I am thrilled to have satisfied my monogram fix!

emma easter Six On Sunday, Version 36

Note both the enormous basket and the monogram.

High Heels Are a Bad Call When Pregnant

All ladies face the same joys (and unpleasantness) when pregnant. Even the Kardashians. (Shut up you watch them too!)

As everyone knows, Kourtney has had two babies and Kim is pregnant with her first. Of course, she has been all over the tabloids. Yesterday, I saw a picture of her prancing around in six inch Christian Louboutin heels.  While I am the first to agree that the shoes are fabulous, I just cannot wrap my head around the sheer stupidity of six inch heels while pregnant. (She is claiming that flats are uncomfortable. I mean, COME ON!)

Sure, being pregnant is wonderful and life changing and blah blah blah, but there are parts that are terrible. Awful. There are moments when you question your sanity for voluntarily putting yourself through the hells that are pregnancy. Things like eating pretzels (high salt content), peeing every six hours, sleeping more than forty five minutes at a time; and having a visual on your feet become a luxuries one can only dream about.

In a recent episode, Kim bashes Kourtney for being too much of a mom; claiming she’s boring and frumpy and doesn’t want to do anything fun anymore.  She razzles Kourtney for her weight gain. She says she doesn’t understand why Kourtney still hasn’t lost the last ten pounds she gained- the baby is already three months old!

Getting out of the house with one child is an Olympic feat in and of itself; I cannot imagine the level of planning and synchronization that is required with two. She also chastises Kourtney for taking an entire eight weeks off since the birth of her daughter. The nerve!

I cannot wait to hear the changing of the tune when Kim gives birth.

One celebrity who deserves good wishes is Princess Kate. I cannot imagine having the entire planet fixated on me on my best hair day ever; let alone on me as my belly (and hips and thighs) swell.  Minus the stiletto heels, she is the vision of maturity and I applaud her for being a Mommy (Mummy?) first and a Princess second.  All that said…better her than me!