Some clothes would benefit greatly from the addition of pockets. The number one item of clothing that comes to mind is a wedding dress. Believe it or not, brides do not wake up the morning of their wedding looking that amazing… a little bit of makeup magic is involved (I strongly encourage all brides to MAKE AN APPOINTMENT when using a makeup counter at the local department store—please see ‘On The Job Training’ for more information about what can happen if one decides to ‘wing it’!) Photographers are always reminding brides to put lipstick on. As most wedding dresses don’t have pockets, the Maid of Honor is forced to become a human ‘pocket’, carrying said lipstick and other essentials, like the bride’s iPhone. (At our wedding reception, my husband elected to NOT use his pockets to store his Blackberry and to instead clip it to the outside of his pants, hanging off the pocket. It looked lovely in pictures, and was definitely what I wanted documented forever.)
As you can see from these pictures, not only was I The-Most-Beautiful-Bride-EverTM, (after a few (many, many) glasses of Champagne at my wedding reception, I decided to educate my guests on what I already knew: that I was the Most-Beautiful-Bride-EverTM. I would approach a guest, and inquire “Don’t you think I am the Most-Beautiful-Bride-Ever?” the answer was always “Yes, you are!” to which I replied “I KNOW I AM!”). The Most-Beautiful-Bridal-Gown-EverTM would have been even more beautiful had it had pockets!
The only thing more annoying than a lack of pockets is…shallow pockets. Women’s dress pants and skirts are the biggest offenders. One is fooled by the comforting presence of so-called pockets (“these pants are even cuter because of the pockets! I can safely stow my lipstick!”) only to be disappointed by the deceptive, disconcerting reality of a shallow pocket. I have been a victim many times—my phone goes flying out of my pocket, my lipstick wont’ fit and slides out, never to be seen again. The shallow pocket also makes bending over impossible as the bulk of whatever is in the shallow pocket doesn’t allow for any bending at the hips whatsoever.
My husband is a champ about carrying things in his pockets for me. I am not sure if this is due to a deep understanding of the Truth About Women’s Pockets, or simply choosing the path of least resistance (it is way easier to carry my shit than to listen to my shit). Men, I urge you to choose this path with your ladies. It’s the least you can do, considering you don’t have to wear pointy toed torture devices (also known as high heels), AND you have big, comfy pockets.